Adventure To Ashfield (KFC Review)

It has been over a year since TnT officially posted a review. Some say they overdosed on twisters, others claim they were snapped up by the Colonels Henchmen after discovering 3 of the 11 secret herbs and spices. Nevertheless, they are back and ready to provide you with thorough advice on your local KFC opportunities.

The seed of craving was planted the day before their adventure, as Krim Dusty the Krusher Master sent Dr Lad-Licious a message inquiring about the consumption of KFC together. He accepted.

Their quest to review the next KFC restaurant brought them into the jaws of the Ashfield community: the Ashfield Mall food court. Here, amongst indian, thai, turkish and japanese delicacies lies the delectable poultry beast we all know and love.

Due to the fact that they ventured to Ashfield for an early lunch and that Krim Dusty usually has a late lunch, his crave rating was not quite as high as usual, which saddened him. Dr Lad-Licious was sufficiently keen.

Surprisingly, their noses did not lead them to the Colonels love. The combined aromas of multiple stores mixing and swishing within the realm of the food court had resulted in a neutral smell. Some of our readers may prefer a strong grease smell or perhaps that of air freshener but the lack of grease in the air was a sign of quality air filtration systems, so a +M8 to Ashfield Shopping Centre. Even once they had received their meals and sat in the middle of the food court away from food outlets they still had to move their nasal region into very close proximity to the feast to feel at ease.

The food court itself had a lacklustre serenity factor, being a natural bi-product of a typical food court experience at peak hour. For a food court, they were quite surprised that the chairs and tables were clean and free of any grease streaks; this put Krim Dusty's mind at ease and allowed him to enjoy the environment as he did not have to worry about touching anything and getting all greased up for later.

In comparison to 2015’s Dulwich Hill Review, the service was a cut above the competition, the young man at the till had called Krim Dusty sir multiple times and was very helpful in regards to his enquiry of a possible change to Mountain Dew (aka memes), unfortunately it was not so as he had been deceived by the $5 lunch deal and the can of drink was a micro can and only came in pepsi max. Dr Lad-Licious was served by a delightful young lady that actually smiled and replied. This caught him off guard.

Now, lets get into the gut of this food review.

Tran

$5 lunch deal with a micro can of Pepsi max.

The volume was adequately sufficient, enough to fill you up comfortably and allowing one to maintain mobility after consumption. There were many chips in the box and quite a few had spilled over with the bag originally containing the chips still full to the brim of crunchy, salty, potatoey goodness.

The food was cooked well and true to the core of the chickeny soul. It was cooked so close to the perfection that only the colonel would accept as premium KFC.

Now don’t get me wrong, the flavour was good, but for the popcorn chicken specifically it was a bit different, this also applies to the other times I’ve had popcorn chicken in recent memory. I am not sure if those at KFC high command have modified the recipe for popcorn chicken but it was somewhat off. Difficult to describe but still good.

The chips were great as well however there was one chip that was rotten to the core. Words cannot describe the heresy, thus refer to Figure 1.

In Figure 1, it can be seen that the heretic does not resemble that of a regular, good, tasty chip that was loved by the colonel as a child.

The crispy was good, consistent across all of my chips and chicken in my dish, made for a pleasant and rewarding chickeny experience. Refer to Section: Greasiness for flip side pf Crispiness.

Nothing special to say about this one, tenderness of chicken at KFC tends to be consistent across multiple stores and location in my experience. May remove this category in future reviews.

Figure 1. Heretic Chip

The salt on the chips specifically was a step up from Dully, the salt was plentiful and abundant. Quite a bit of salt was also present on the popcorn chicken, this may have been what altered the taste as previously mentioned.

NOTE: Caps lock has been abused for this section, use caution.

OH MY GOD! THE GREASE! LOL WHAT GREASE? MOISTURE WAS PRESENT ON THE INSIDE BUT EXTERIOR COATING OF CHIPS AND CHICKEN WAS DRY AND PLEASANT TO TOUCH. THIS ENHANCED THE TEXTURE SIGNIFICANTLY AND WILL PROBABLY NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!

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Tom

Popcorn Chicken GO bucket and Kookies and Kreme Krusher

The Volume of the Go Bucket left much to be desired. I must say, every time I receive a GO bucket and gaze inside I am reminded of the glory days of the snack box, as they filled every crevice of my digestive system

Feeding on from this, my first bite of the GO bucket was met with a firm chip. It was undercooked. My mental state became tainted after this and the overcritical reviewer instincts kicked in. Undercooked chips are the bane of my existence and throw me back into the deadly sins of a local fish and chip shop in the depths of the country (New Oceanic) that produced firm soggy chips and scarred my petite swiss-engineered tastebuds for the remainder of my KFC filled days.

Despite this initial set back, the flavour of the popcorn chicken was exceptional. I savoured every juicy bite as though it were the original of the original recipes that the Colonel ate so long ago.

Though the chips were firm they did present a sufficient outer crisp that aided consumption even in light of the firmness

Oh my goody good goodness, the popcorn chicken tendered my heart. The desire to over consume and buy several more Go Buckets was only negated by the chip factor. Otherwise the chicken called to me longingly wanting to get inside my mouth.

I must say, wow. wow. wow. wow. the lack of grease was refreshing. Perhaps in the peak hour rush the KFC staff were unable to put our meals through the greasifier. Despite this lack of grease, the innards of the popcorn chicken was sufficiently moist.

Caps warning:

PLEASE PUT SALT ON MY CHIPS NEXT TIME. KTHNX!!!1

The Krusher was Operational.

Oh the thick crunchy kookie liquids. I have not tasted the sweet Krusher machine excretions for quite some time and boy was I not disappointed. The concoction swirled in my mouth and excited my tastebuds such that I felt a little lightheaded (or maybe brain freeze?). Would recommend Ashfield Mall KFC for Krushers /10.

The Statistics:

Context

How much have you eaten today?

Tran:

- Uncle Toby's Plus Peach, Sultanas and Oat Clusters

- Single Weetbix

- Two tablespoons of Yoghurt

- Mug of Moccona Medium Roast No.5

Tom

- Nothing (Bad idea)

Crave rating

Tran: 3/8

Tom: 4.5/8

Days of abstinence (since last KFC feed)

Tran and Tom: 7 Days

Store

Greasy Scale: 2/8

Service: 7/8

Serenity Factor: 1.5/8

Smell: 3/8

Food

Tran

$5 Lunch Deal with a micro can of Pepsi Max.

Volume: 7/8

Cooked Scale: 6/8

Flavour: 5.65/8

Crispiness: 7.5/8

Tenderness: 5/8

Greasiness: 1/8

Saltiness: 6.5/8

Rating: 5.52/8

Tom

Popcorn Chicken GO bucket and Krusher

Volume: 4/8

Cooked Scale: 2.5/8

Flavour: 6/8

Crispiness: 5.5/8

Tenderness: 6/8

Greasiness: 2/8

Saltiness: 1/8 Krusher Operationality: Yes

Krusher Quality: 7/8

Rating: 4.7/8

Overall

To sum up, because our culinary experiences were so diversified between our two meals, we give and average rating of

5.11/8

"TnT reviews recommends Ashfield Mall KFC for your next un-greasy quest."